Halloween and Brunettes.

First of all-- I'm no longer a blonde. Freaky, I know. It't taking quite a bit of adjusting but I do like it. I miss my blonde hair on occasion but I feel more grown up now and more like it's me. (: Second of all-- Happy Halloween!! haha well... on Saturday. I had the most amazing weekend of my life. Mike got up here around ten on Friday and we hung out till midnight. We watched the movie Clue (we more talked than actually watched the movie but oh well) and we went to Maverick and while we were there I playfully slapped Mike and the guy working there was like... no no no. You don't slap; it's closed fist as hard as you can. I laughed pretty hard. On Saturday Mike and I went to Panda around noon and then we went to the mall and hung out there for awhile with Megan (Mike's older sister), Eric (Megan's husband) and their friends. It was quite entertaining but I had fun. I jus love being with Mike. After the mall we went back to my house and made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. It's quite interesting when we cook together. We actually work really well together. Later on we took my brothers trick-or-treating. Mike kept going to tell them what to do-- things that would keep them safe-- and then he'd stop himself because he didn't want to be mean. It was cute; he'll be a very good dad someday. My brothers kept us on our toes running from house to house. After trick-or-treating for awhile we went home and went to Mike's aunt's house and hung out there with Mike's friend Cole and his girlfriend Alison. Emily (Mike's lil cousin) was jumping all over us like the whole time. It was cute for a little bit. Mike is so cute to me I can't even handle it. I don't know what I did to deserve someone as amazing as him but I love him so much and am so grateful for him. He went home on Sunday and now I'm impatiently waiting the next time I'll see him. I already miss him oh so much. There isn't a better guy than him in the entire world. I love him.

My new hair.

Happy Birthday Mike!!

Mike turned eighteen today... i had a mini panic attack today when i really realized that. It's jus wierd to think about. People keep saying stuff like oop you're jail bait now-- yeaa... not cool. But I am really happy for him. I hope he has and will continue to have an a-mazing birthday. I don't getta see him today but I will be with him all weekend. I am ohh so excited. We're gonna go to lunch and do something else after (haven't quite figured that part out yet) and then we'll take my brothers trick-or-treating, and then probably go hot tubing afterwards. It's going to be a perfect day. I'm dying my hair this week... light brown. Ooooh. I'm more or less scared. I think it'll be a good change for me though. Oh yeaa... Friday with Chantel... amazing, and terrifying-- all at the same time. The haunted house was truly scary; almost lost my voice from screaming. It was good bonding time for me and Chantel-- it was the girl time that i needed; we talked and told stories and gave advice. I wouldn't be surprised if we had been best friends before we came to earth-- that's jus how good we get along. No matter how long we go without seeing each other we can pick back up where we last started with ease and it's not awkward or anything. She is a genuine friend and I love her for it. Again... I'm soo excited to see Mike this weekend. I love him and I can't wait to see how our future turns out. He's everything I could have ever wanted.

So So So Stoked!

I'm hanging out with Chantel tonight. I haven't done this in... at least a year. We used to be soo close and then we went to different schools and became wayy too preoccupied with boys. I would love to have our close relationship back again. As much as I love Mike... and he is and always will be my best friend... I need a girl best friend again. One I can tell everything and she can help me cuz she knows what I'm going through. Man oh man I miss Chantel. I'm soo happy we're hanging out tonight. We're going to a haunted house and we're gonna freak out together, scream together, and grab on to each other... like old times. I really couldn't be happier. Some girl time will be good and then I'll see Mike next weekend. The whole weekend. I love him(: I'm just in a really good mood... if you can't tell. I feel like my life is finally what I want it to be. I'm happy(:

Good Week.

This week has gone by soo fast and I'm really happy about that. Tomorrow's Friday and it's the end of the term and I have a 3.9 g.p.a. It's made for a good week. Tomorrow night I'm either gonna be with the love of my life or hang out with Paloma and them. Its gonna be a good weekend. I really hope Mike comes up-- it's been almost two weeks; tht's wayyy too long to go without seeing him. I'll fursure see him next weekend but only for one night. I wish we lived closer. I see all my friends with their boyfriends and they see them every day and I'm extremely jealous. I think sometimes they take for granted seeing their boys every day. I know that my time without Mike makes us want to see each other more and in some ways it might be good for our relationship, but mainly its just really hard. I miss him. The end. Nah I will get through it. There's 300 days till i turn 18. It's kinda scary to think about. Yesterday at school we had a meeting for all the seniors and I just looked at my friend and said, "Wow, we're really graduating this year-- we're really almost done." It just blows my mind that I'm almost done. I feel like I should still be back in Jr high-- not tht I miss the drama or anything. I've learned soo much in my seventeen years. I'm grateful for everything I've been through-- the good and the bad. I'm grateful for who I've become-- i hope to only keep becoming a better person.

Good Week.

This week has been good so far... thank heavens. I saw my dad and grandparents on Saturday. We went to lunch and to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs-- which was hilarious. Mike and I are doing much better-- haven't fought since Sunday morning. I adore him. It's already Tuesday(: I got a good grade on my photography assignment. Paloma, Jessie, Breann, and Shayli make school actually not so heinous. My painting class is really truly like a therapy session for all of us. We have "Story Time." This post is kinds all over the place but I'm just showing that this has been a good week and I'm soo happy about that. I have Young Women's tonight and it's just a relaxing activity-- which i need. Especially with it being the end of the term. Mike's birthday is in one week. He's turning eighteen.. eekk. We decided that we're gonna go to lunch and a movie, just me and him, for his birthday when he comes up next, so in like a week and a half(:

Soo Confused.

This has been a really hard week. I'm so confused about what to do with my life, about who I am, what I want. What happened to me having everything figured out. I hate this. I've been relying too much on other people planning out my life and it's hurting me. I've got to plan out my own life. I need to think about what I want. I need to accomplish what I want out of life. I wish this was easier. I'm hoping that someday I'll get what I really want. I'm scared of losing everything.

I'm hoping everything will work out...

Sickness.

I think i'm dying. ha it is a possibility. I have bronchitis... the third time i've had it in the last six months. The doctor told me that I have bad lungs... cool, I know. He also told me that if I get swine flu it will be really bad for me, really-- yesterday was jus a bucket of good news. I wish I had Mike here to help me. I'll survive I suppose-- it jus doesn't feel like it. I've just gotta say one more thing... I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!

Changes.

I feel different lately-- i can't really say that it's a good thing. I feel like I can't handle life, I'm really not even dealing with that much but I feel like I have the whole world on my shoulders. I expect myself to be perfect and in my head I think everyone else expects me to be perfect too. It's quite stressful. This school year is a lot different from all the other years. I feel like I'm making the right decisions because I've learned a lot of lessons in my 17 years of life. I always tell myself that everything I've gone through has just made me a better, stronger person but in the heat of the moment it's really hard to actually believe that-- i feel like it's making me weaker. I don't mean to complain because I know there are loads of people out there whose lives are a million times worse then mine, I am thankful for the considerably easy life I lead. I have so many blessings in my life and I need to recognize that more. I'm sure I'll feel better in a couple days. I just gotta keep my chin up, look for the positive things.

Perfection.

Mike is amazing. It comes right down to that. This weekend he surprised me and came up. He had told my mom about it but not me. On Friday night me and my sister, Christine, went to the mall and pretty much I had kind of been guessing that Mike was coming up but I wasn't sure. He had been leaving little clues such as asking me what I was doing that night or asking how long i was gonna be at the mall. Finally around 8:30 me and Christine headed home and Mike text me and said that he left a CD at sam's house and he needed me to go get it. That was when i figured out that he was up here. I was so excited. I have to admit that when I first went over there i was a lil upset at him because me and surprises don't like each other. But, of course, that feeling went away after ten minutes of being with him. We had an amazing weekend. Last night me, Mike, Christine, and my little brother, Miles, were all in a parking garage trying to park so we could go watch Christine's best friend, Shaye, sing. Well... the bolt fell out of the axle on one of Christine's tires and the car wouldn't budge. So, Mike got out to check it out (he's amazing at working on cars) and he decided to call his brother, Seth, to have him bring a new bolt and tools. Well... best part: we were blocking traffic for everyone, right in the middle, and were there for a good hour and a half. Eventually we were able to move the car and Mike and Seth fixed it. Total we were there for about three hours. Can I just say that I would NOT have made it through that adventure without Mike. My whole family adores him which couldn't make me any happier. Mike went home today and I won't see him until Halloween weekend so I'm trying to just be positive that I got to see him this weekend. Mike is one of the greatest blessings I've ever had and I couldn't be more grateful for him; I thank the Lord for him every day.